For the past three years as Mothers Day approaches, I have been optimistic that I will be able to celebrate as a "mother to be", and imagine the next year, celebrating with my baby. It seems each year I find out only a few days before Mothers Day, that it is in fact, not my year.
I guess it goes without say that I am not pregnant. Only two days before Mothers Day I got my period. I knew it was coming from yesterday when I started having some cramps, but despite vowing to not take a pregnancy test until I was at least a day late (I have taken SO many pregnancy tests in the past, that I can't bear to see another negative result), I took one anyway, only to see.... yes, another negative result. This simple image of a single pink line, is in fact the thing I dread most in the world. Who would have thought that one pink line would be the image that I have nightmares about.
So I guess we are back to the drawing board. I need to call the doc. when the office opens in a few hours to schedule an appointment, and start the process all over again. I am still feeling unsettled about my hubby's test results. It does not sit well with me that one place could say he has 0% normal sperm, while another says he's completely normal. I am thinking that now more than ever I would like a third opinion, especially before we resort to more drastic measures. Oh well, happy someday Mothers Day to me! Hopefully next year I will be celebrating, either with a big belly, or with my own little bundle of joy!
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